Dear Aunt Barb,

Mr P was Santa of the day.

I am so sorry you weren't able to make it to our house for Christmas. I'm hope you feel better soon. I will try to recreate the day so you feel as if you didn't miss a thing.

You know we did an oddity by having 'the day' on Christmas Eve night instead of Christmas morning. This is a first for me. There wasn't anyone waking us up at 6AM. I didn't miss that. I did miss putting the presents under the tree when the kids were asleep. Ahem, I mean, I missed having Santa put the presents under the tree. But I also liked the atmosphere of having the candles glowing and lights twinkling.

In the morning, all the stockings were hung by the chimney with care and I finally got my very own after 22 years. You would have been able to spot it immediately as mine - it has beads sewn on it.

The kids asked a million times "when are we going to open our presents?" This was closely followed by "When is Uncle C going to get here?" Funny, how the majority of my Christmases revolve around my brother.

The afternoon was spent cleaning, cooking and carving. I had fun with my food, as usual.

the friar

the spoiled little boy

the imp

the uh, I don't know...

the teenager

curious george

the socialite

(her beauty mark fell off when I stuck the feather in her pompadour)

the alien

I did the table in the afternoon, which was a mistake, seeing how the kids ran all around it and accidentally pulled the table cloth. It wasn't a white Christmas, it was a WET Christmas, and sending them outside was not an option.

Fortunately, my cool cranberry glassware was not broken. But Mr M and Mr J sat at the table starting at 2pm eating pretend food and waiting for the turkey to arrive. I told them that Uncle C wouldn't be there until after 5 but they still sat and waited. The table was covered with the spill-resistant tablecloth you gave me a couple of years ago. A dot of water was on it, sitting on top, jiggling around, looking for the world like a huge contact lens. I could chase it around the table and it would stay intact in one floating glob. Mr M was terrified it was going to get him and smashed it into a billion molecules with his spoon.


Since it was Christmas Eve day and not night, the reindeer didn't want to be spotted, so Santa was by himself. He drove an suv and was quickly embarrassed as we are a truck town, and not a suv town.

We put up a ladder to make it easier for him to reach the chimney.

The older kids were given the opportunity to play with fire - they lit candles all over the house. The little guys followed them to do their duty of blowing them all out.

We had carols going, and a battle ensued. I'd turn them up, My Man would turn them off. I would turn them on; he'd turn them off.

When a female child entered the kitchen being bored, I would put her to work. The boys were too fast for me and would run out.

Finally the uncle arrived. He was tackled at the door.

Mr W was fully-clothed at one point. Apparently he still thinks garments are for the morning, and as he warms up during the day, he sheds them - ha, he isn't even menopausal! By present-time, he was shirtless and pantless.

Here is Mr W after Uncle C warned that if Mr W touched ANY of the presents under the tree, Mr W would be receiving nothing...

Even though Uncle C was now in the house, the children had to endure the traditional turkey dinner before the present fest. Food like this is lost on the youth.

Just as when I was a child, Uncle C was the barometer of when presents were going to be opened. The kids watched him eat. And Eat. AND EAT. The kids were done in two minutes.

There was a lot of whining during dinner, and this particular one was from the Northwest courtesy of Uncle C and you. Hogue Chardonnay 2005 from Prosser, Washington. Yummy.

When Uncle C was at last finished, and only then, were they allowed to go downstairs and see what Santa had been up to while we feasted.

Yes, you guessed it; this is your husband's plate - the drumstick.

We opened presents

M was thrilled with your gift of the upside down tomatoes. I am sure we will hear about the wee little ones growing next year.

Miss L was adorable in her penguin attire.

Are you sure you didn't hear the ear-splitting scream let out by Mr W when he opened his presents? Especially the avatar dvd's from you guys?

The game of life Johnny Depp style, Savvy?

After several dvd's Mr J said, "Am I only getting movies this year?" Yeh, basically. They are easy to move, my son.

What was the granma thinking? Giving a harmonica to a three year old? It was the first present he opened and he was DONE - completely thrilled with it.

The amp was a hit. Miss J hugged and kissed it.

my books. DO you hear, kids? MINE..... I'm half-way done the first one. Thanks, Barb!!

He loved his gloves and his movie.

One of my favorites - a man made out of tin! Did you know that M actually ate sardines for the cans for his feet?

Uncle C and I did computer things until the children "kindly" reminded us over and over again that the stockings were begging to be looted.

This is me waiting for Mr M to finally wear out. And to stop playing the harmonica (which is in his hand but usually was in his mouth). I think we were watching blue's clues when Steve was a baby. ALL the kids watched it.

I actually forgot I had a stocking of my own, and after about an hour of trying to convince Mr M he really wanted to be asleep instead of eating his candy necklace, I dumped my goodies out. Inside I had a pair of nails linked together. In fact, several of us had the very same puzzling set. We sat around and played with them.

I couldn't figure how to get them apart but while jabbering away with C, they just fell on my lap. I have no clue how I did it, I just did it. and then I did it again. And again.

C didn't like this.

In fact, he was flummoxed for quite a while, which appeared to mean he got his money's worth out of it. He got it eventually, and unlike me, seemed to understand how they came apart.

I also got a tin of the world's thinnest cookies made in Salem North Carolina. I figured they are so thin, they mustn't have any calories. And anyway, since Santa wasn't going to eat any, I had to do it for him.

YES!!! Mr M finally falls asleep.

And then BAM! the electricity went out, Grandma D went right on knitting in the dark and telling us how she grew up with one kerosene lamp for the room.

There went Mr M being sound asleep. The little guys were terrified and I hit the sack with them. What a mistake. (The rest of the week has been Mr M yelling for me every night since there are scary monsters in his bed. I pulled up the blankets and all I found were two stinky piggies wiggling back at me. He wants me to sleep with him and his feet. groan......)

Well, Barb, it is time for me to finally post this... It has taken me all week to upload the photos. You'd think Santa would have gotten my hint for more bandwidth, but apparently I've been quite naughty this year.

Your sister in law,
me

happy birthday!

There are SOOO many December birthdays in my life...

Just moments ago, I was talking to my brother Theo (12/6), when Miss J brought my cell phone in to tell me Theo and my mom were on the phone. HUH? How could that be possible?

I listened just a second and said, "Hey, it's not Theo, it's Phillip!" And it was weird. They were on a three-way call with me, my brother Phillip (12/5) and my mom (12/20) and on the other phone I was talking to my brother Theo.

My mom, SNICKER, asked me if Phillip could hear Theo talking. I reminded her that despite appearances, fortunately all was not vacuous in-between my ears, so NO, Theo could not hear Phillip talking.

Then Phillip and I did a tag-team Happy Birthday song for our mom.


Here is Miss J talking to her cousin, Miss H, her grandmother and her Uncle. She giggled a lot.

Other birthdays this month is my neato-fantabulous sister in law 12/18 and my beautiful niece Miss M (12 oops, I can't find my birthday calendar so I will guess 15th), my aunt Bertie, several other cousins and a few friends.

Speaking of my niece, Miss M, I have her and my other niece, Miss H on my refrigerator. People who see these photos think they are sisters. They aren't remotely related. One is my niece through blood and the other is my niece through marriage and both are gorgeous! Look at those smiles! Both like to giggle.


speaking of giggling, I have a great funny from my friend Debbie (whose husband is doctor, but I doubt these answers came from him - now I would totally believe they came from Debbie):

Doctor and Patient Health Seminar

Q&A Session

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc .


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.



And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What
A Ride!!!!

ok, I think you all laughed enough (therefore exercising your abs) to reward yourself with some chocolate!

us

Dani Mogstad Maddy's smile. Leora Neutral trims. MCO Clair de Lune for flower. SBS autumn decay for photo overlay.

I've been having oodles of fun with my 14 1/2 yo daughter recently. She and I have been learning to play the guitar this year. She says I have a 'leg' up on her since my fingers are longer. While I digi-scrap, answer email or help her with algebra, she or I usually have music playing, the guitar in hand, strumming away and eventually collapsing in so much laughter we can't talk.

We are bad.

But we have fun.

Appalachian Christmas

what a cute night... credits here except I did add some TADA music items. It looked lonely.

The children were coal miners and land owners and they performed Christmas songs sung with different words.

Here is up on the housetop the reindeer pause (paws???)

Down in the mine shaft every day

All the miners toil away

Coal dust covers head to toe

Tons of coal but not much dough.

Down in the mines with dynamite

Setting charges in the light

Cast by a pair of carbine lamps

Me and junior, dad and gramps

Nonono not much more

Credit at the company store

If you think your budget’s tight

Come with us and spend the night

They sang this song, too.

We three miners picking away

In the tunnels day after day

Push the carts out

Work our hearts out

All for a pauper’s pay

Oooooooh oooooh

Tons of coal and loads and yet

All we get is more in debt

Is there something better coming

Something that we won’t regret

The Bible says man is made of mud

And the poor man uses his muscle and blood

Muscle and blood skin and bone

A mind that’s weak and a back that’s strong

You loan sixteen tons and what do you get

Another day older and deeper in debt

When the Lord starts calling, I’ve got to go

Or I’ll owe my soul to the company store.

Clock keeps ticking and the calendar turns

The seasons change and the candle burns

I sit and I wonder as I look at the mine

Is there better at the end of the time.

The kids had soot on their faces, flannel shirts, overalls, construction hats with lights attached. Mr W had the hugest hat and it kept sliding down and when the kids were finally all on stage singing, he kept bobbing his hat up and down. (Bad shot, no flash, me in the back and the kids were all walking and lining up.) He is the fifth one from the left. They did a lot of hand motions and I was afraid the kids on the highest riser would fall off in their enthusiasm, but all was well.

There, Grandma D! You now have the words and I just had a mini concert by Mr W who sang to me while I typed the words and the wrong words apparently at that - "Mom, it is toled. We toled away in the mines" snicker....

A throw-back to the good old days when I was a kid in the school programs in a hot gymnasium packed with school mates; we could see our parents sitting in the other bleachers waiting for the whole thing to be over. We would be attired in non-school dress, and being in the school at night, with the anticipation of the songs we had rehearsed for months, made it a magical night.

And just when the parents thought it was safe to leave, Santa would come out and the entire school (K-12) would line up and individually go up to Santa, get a candy cane and try to guess which teacher was behind the beard. Great times :D

Happy Birthday

I love you!

some layouts I created this week.

gifted by Elizabeth Weaver; graphic frames by Katie Pertiet; hearts by me



My beautiful daughter, Miss L.

Michelle Coleman Glow, Andrea Cox ribbon, Meryl Bartho Alikai butterfly, Katie Pertiet Frames with Flourishes, Suzanne Walker Modern Millie font, Jen Caputo edges that I combined to make a frame

The kids officially had their first snow day this week. And today, their first 2-hour delay. They are praying for another tomorrow, but it is the Christmas program and Miss L said they would never EVER cancel school on program day (ie, they better not).

Snow on the ground, snow melting all over my kitchen, my socks getting wet… lights up… it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And sound like Christmas.

I have a cd of a childhood Christmas album. It is close to but not the exact album my family owned. So here I sit belting out carols, and of course I KNOW which carol comes next, but NOOOOoooo, the songs are out of order on this particular compilation. And the really funny thing is some of the songs on our lp had scratches in the middle of them and I internally get ready for that glitch and - it isn’t there. It’s a bit jarring to have it not be there and to actually listen to a perfect rendition.

“Little Drummer Boy” reminds me of Theo. That song goes on FOReeeeeVER. Mr W boycotts it each time it is on.

I need to figure out what lp’s my family owned, though. Somehow it doesn’t quite seem like Christmas until I hear all the songs I listened to as a child.

I leave you with an image of Woody taken from my bathtub one day before the snowfall...